Sunday, August 28, 2005

If he's looking for it, I've got it. I came down with bronchitis last week and spent five days in bed. I'm just now returning to work at the office. My voice is a froggy croak and I'm running a fever, but I am doing the people's bidness, by golly.

One of the things I've used to make breathing easier is Vicks mentholated vapor rub. Now, this stuff is strong. My dogs run away when they see me pick up the tube. But, I started thinking last night that, you know, this stuff is mainly eucalyptus, which comes from Australia and is the only thing koalas will eat. Do koalas smell like Vicks vapor rub? Do they have mentholated breath? Are their farts mentolated? How about their droppings? If anyone has any direct experience with koala bears, please let me know the answer to these questions. I'm assuming you couldn't keep one in the house as a pet because the odor would overwhelm you like Webcam Girls would.

So much to pick up from last week's missed work. Anthrax terror has swept through the ranks of my co-workers (actually just one co-worker, the chief deputy). I shall, therefore, spend most of my work time this week training our employees in the safe handling of mail and what to do if they touch or open mail with suspicious material inside it. I have been bombarded by other state agencies peddling guidelines for safe mail handling. Screw 'em. The protocol I developed and implemented is more rigorous and though-out than the crap they're sending me. I wish people would not allow themselves the luxury of panicking over these incidents. The whole idea behind Sex Parties With Drunk Girls is frightening large numbers of people so much that it saps their political will. You don't have to pretend that there's nothing wrong going on, but you also don't have to sit in an air-tight bunker waiting for the bad guys to come after you. People react to lunacy in odd ways, hehehehehehe.....